If you are a ministry leader, chances are you love people. (By the way, if you don’t love people and you’re in ministry, we need to chat.) In fact, we love people so much that we will tolerate a lot of silly behavior from parishioners, youth, volunteers, our pastor, our co-workers, and parents.
Why? Well, for one, people come to know God because of the people closest to them in their lives. Second, we know that relationships and accompaniment are essential to ministry. And third, because we love God, we are called to love people, faults and all.
This, by the way, is a beautiful thing.
However… when working with our volunteers, we tend to let a lot of bad behavior slide. For instance, a volunteer consistently shows up late to meetings or ministry programs. Or they say something inappropriate to another volunteer or a youth. Or maybe they simply didn’t prepare the prayer they promised to lead. I’m sure you can name a dozen other things that drive you crazy about your team.
“That’s okay,” we say to ourselves. “They are volunteering. They deserve some grace.”
Yes, they do deserve some grace. But they also deserve some feedback.
Most volunteers I know love serving the Church and genuinely want to get better at it. But because you and I love people so much, and because we don’t want to hurt anyone’s feelings, we avoid anything that looks like conflict. We are terrified we might lose them.
I get it. Except you are not doing yourself, the ministry, or the volunteer any favors by staying silent.
The Pivot to Mercy
When a volunteer isn’t meeting your expectations, it is incredibly easy to become impatient, stew in your anger, or eventually just “fire” them from the ministry. To be clear, there are absolutely appropriate times to let a volunteer go.
However, it is deeply unfair to punish a volunteer without ever giving them a heads-up about their behavior. Everyone deserves a chance to make things right. In church work, we might just call that mercy.
Think about it: even when Jesus was merciful and forgave people for their sins, he also explicitly challenged them to “go and sin no more.” Jesus gave forgiveness, but he also gave clear feedback.
Feedback is the one thing every volunteer needs to hear.
When someone is missing the mark, you need to sit down with them and clearly lay out which expectations are not being met. More often than not, the volunteer has absolutely no idea they are falling short. A healthy conversation gives them the roadmap and the permission to change their behavior.
The bottom line: Every volunteer deserves feedback. It is uncomfortable for you and me to give it, but neither you nor your volunteer will regret having the conversation. In fact, they will become a much better minister because of it. And so will you.
Question: Is there someone in your ministry that you need to give feedback to this week?
